Friday, December 16, 2011

A Digression

My friend Amber just to took up the cause in her blog "" to  ensure that someday auto-flush toilets will be available to all, not just the rich and lavatorially privileged, I support her fight as should all of you.

However, i do have my own horse in this fight. My own privy pariah, my water closet war.

The dreaded air hand dryer. Yes the one and the same.

For generations we have been given these "sanitary options" for drying our hands after a trip to the toidy. Wash your hands, soap em up good with pink ooze that looks like something from the X-Files. Then, when it is time dry those nice, clean and SANITARY hands you move over to the conveniently, wall mounted, hot air dryer. You don't want to touch it with your newly washed and SANITARY hands, so you hit with your fabric covered elbow and  you are off to the races. HOT AIR FLOWS FORTH.

Well yes, it is hot. No doubt about that. However i believe in my heart of hearts that you could stand there with your hands under that blower, rubbing them together gingerly as is suggested, and you will grow old, the paint will peel off the walls and you will still have two very damp hands. So what do you do?
You wipe them on your pants, which you could have just done originally and saved yourself one more disappointing encounter with the air dryers from hell.

But wait there is more.

Someone, I believe he was a rocket scientist or possible an aeronautics expert, has now developed a new blower. This one certainly does get your hands dry. Unfortunately it also takes you shirt, your pants, your hair and skin with it. It has the power of a jet engine, without the directionality, if it wasn't bolted to the wall with titanium hardware, the thing would surely take flight. It's not a hand dryer, its a restroom black hole.

There is never a happy medium and after all - isn't a happy medium what we all really want anyway?

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